Despite everything..

I've been on a roller coaster my whole life battling, something. I could never make myself tell the world lol But it's something that ruined me emotionally and I fight everyday to breath another day.

I have been feeling terrible the past month. But I'm not here today to blog about how terrible things are. I want to remind myself of the things closest to me..the things that are there and the things worth mentioning. I hope others will do this as well. Being sad, angry, don't rant all the time the bad and constantly remind yourself of what you're tired and sick of. Heal yourself with a good reminder. There ARE people who do care for your well being.

I AM PROUD. Proud that despite the bullshit, I keep trying to find good in things despite how much I know the world sucks, how gloomy it is, how the surface isn't what it seems, I still try to seek the good in it, in everything. I read books, I did research, I wanted to learn to live a life of peace, good, kindness, sincerity, and peace. ONE thing, however, easily drag me down. And I let it.

I AM GRATEFUL. That I have wonderful friends to hear me out. I'm not one to rant to anyone, not even TALK to anyone. And to be able to talk to trusted friends, after 17 years of having none to talk to, I want to keep them close..I know they are hard to find. I'm also so grateful to have met some wonderful people...even though they may not be in my life anymore or be who they used to, they've helped me along the way in my life and saved me. I'm also very grateful to have a caring bf to hear me out as well that push me to be happy and remind me the simplicity of life that's usually best thing, also to be so understanding, and thank god have common sense that I don't have to continuously repeat myself lol I'm also grateful for my two brothers. we've been through so much and I love them dearly. We will always have a bond.

I'M GRATEFUL, to be fortunate enough to live in a country where I can be me, can be heard, obtain unlimited knowledge, and to live in a good environment. I'm very grateful and fortunate. I'm able to showcase my talents, share thoughts, and be expressive with my art.

I am grateful.

...but damn tonight isn't going to go well lol. I "lol" now, but seriously, it is not.


The Fu Fai Gai said…
i know that kind of ''lol'' ;]
joe said…
I saw your "ex" boyfriend at my work place a couples of time. Wasn't sure if you guys broke it off until i went on to your blog! >.<
Sorry to read about your struggle.

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